Broken Lies Read online

  Knowing he shouldn’t be listening but feeling compelled, Vaughn had walked closer to the doorway leading from the kitchen into the sitting room, hoping to learn more about Saffron. All the girls at Lily’s House were there for a reason, both the girls placed by the state and the girls who simply showed up on Lily’s porch. Abuse and neglect were the main reasons, but some had been orphaned, and maybe Saffron was one of these and that was why she never wanted to discuss family.

  “The only thing we know,” Halla said quietly, “is that her mother kicked her out. That’s all she’s ever said.”

  “I think her heart was broken.” This from Elsie. “And it won’t heal because she doesn’t talk about it.”

  The moment had stayed with him, but at the time, he still believed he was different, that Saffron would open up to him. She hadn’t, though, and maybe it was because of what he’d overheard that made him decide he couldn’t be another notch on Saffron’s belt. But already he missed her. He let his forehead drop to the table, bumping it a few times, as if to somehow numb the pain.

  Maybe he should stop by her house this morning to see how she was doing. Her car had been emitting a whistling noise from the engine, and it definitely needed new brakes. Two days ago, she’d accepted his offer to help drop off her car at a repair shop, so he could at least let her know he was still willing to help. Besides, the plan wasn’t to disappear out of her life completely. It was ultimately to fight for what he believed they could create together.

  That meant he wasn’t giving up. Not yet.

  A banging on her door pulled Saffron from a restless sleep. She sat up, looking around her in confusion. Why was her nearly full suitcase on the floor? And why was she still in her bridesmaid dress?

  Slowly, memory returned. That’s right, she was going home. No, not home, but back there. Back to the place she’d sworn never to return. She was going to find answers. Maybe she’d find a miracle.

  She stumbled over the heels she’d worn last night on her way to answer the door. Her mouth felt gummy and her nose clogged, though she didn’t remember crying after leaving Lily’s. Long strands of blond hair fell down one side of her face, and more was coming loose by the second. She didn’t want to know what her eyes must look like.

  Well, it would only be one of her sisters that Lily had sent to check up on her, or Lily herself. How many times had she appeared on one of her sister’s doorsteps after a call from Lily? She couldn’t remember how many times, but more than she could count on both hands.

  More banging. “Just a minute,” she called, darting into the bathroom. She had marks on her face from sleeping weird, mascara ringed her eyes, and her hair was a disaster. It didn’t matter. She splashed a little water on her face to help her wake up. Then, yanking bobby pins out as she walked, Saffron hurried to the door and pulled it open. Halla and Elsie stood there.

  “Good. I thought we’d have to use our backup key.” Halla’s eyes fell down her body. “You’re still in that dress? How late did you stay at Lily’s?”

  “I was tired.” Saffron moved back from the door and let them in.

  “We brought treats.” Elsie lifted a cloth bag. “They’re from Ruth. She made them especially for you this morning when we told her what happened.”

  Saffron’s mouth watered. She’d helped out enough at their sister’s cafe to appreciate everything Ruth made. “What happened exactly?”

  “You know, you getting dumped.” Halla sauntered across the living room to the tiny counter that fit only two barstools. “It’s a first for you.”

  Vaughn, Saffron thought, and sorrow hit her in the gut. Halla was wrong. She’d been left by a man before. Yes, she’d been the one to leave Temecula, but she’d given Tyson the opportunity to find her. She’d waited at a pay phone for two hours each day for a week before realizing he was never going to call.

  Some of her expression must have shown on her face because Elsie hugged her. “I’m so sorry.”

  “The least he could have done was wait for you to break up with him,” Halla said with a snort. “The jerk.”

  Elsie scowled in Halla’s direction.

  “What?” Halla said. “We all know where it was heading. Ask Saffron if you don’t believe me.”

  Elsie ignored her. “Ruth would have come with us, but she has to work, and Bianca’s gone with Stephen to move her stuff back to Phoenix now that Zoey’s married.”

  Saffron somehow managed to smile past the grief she was feeling. All these years, she’d believed she was over Tyson, and now she felt desperate to see him. As if the haze that had protected her from memories of him were peeling away.

  “I’ll just get changed,” Saffron said. “Can you un-zip me?”

  “Is that why you didn’t change?” Halla said. “You really should move back in with us when Ruth gets married.”

  “I can reach it fine.” Saffron said. “But it’s easier if you do it. I’ll be right back.”

  She’d wanted an apartment alone because she had all her jewelry equipment spread out on two long folding tables in her living room. The apartment doubled as her factory and store. Between her online income and the boutiques that bought from her, she could finally, after four years, pay all her bills with her jewelry income. She still worked at the sports store only because she liked the social aspect and the extra income. It was also a great place to meet guys.

  Again the wave of grief. She didn’t care if she ever dated again. She wanted to find Tyson. But find him to . . . what? Confront him? To see if he still had feelings for her? To tell him about the horrors she’d endured alone? Even thinking about it made her want to stay in her safe apartment, but if she didn’t face the past—face him—she would never understand what happened, and maybe she’d never be able to move forward.

  Last night Vaughn said he wanted children. Did she? She didn’t even know because it hurt too much to think about her son.

  She dressed in black jean shorts and the first black T-shirt that came to hand. It was too big for her, and might not even be clean, but it fit her mood. In the bathroom, she put lotion on a cotton swab and cleaned up most of the black under her eyes. That would have to do.

  When she returned to her kitchen, the girls had set out a nice spread of pastries, coffee, and hot chocolate. They’d also taken the third stool she kept in the closet and placed it on the other side of the counter. Halla already perched there, sitting sideways on the stool because her knees hit the cupboards.

  “Hmm, looks great.” Saffron sat next to Elsie and grabbed an eclair, sinking her teeth into it, and then taking another bite before swallowing the first. “You brought so many.”

  “Because it’s a pity-party,” Halla said. “You know the rules. Even if we never held one for you, you’ve participated in at least a few.”

  “Oh, yeah. Where we eat ourselves sick and then spend the next two weeks regretting it.”

  “Yep, that.” Halla bit down on a blueberry turnover. “But you sure feel good while you’re doing it.”

  Saffron grabbed a raspberry cheese pocket and a Portuguese mil-folhas that was Ruth’s specialty and put them on her plate. She was feeling better already. “So you didn’t come because Lily called?”

  Halla and Elsie shared a look. “Well, that too,” Halla answered. “But we were coming anyway. You should taste this.” She broke off a piece of her turnover and handed it to Saffron.

  “Mmm, good.” Saffron chewed, reveling at the sweet taste. What a great idea. A pity party was exactly what she needed.

  “Lily said you were going somewhere,” Elsie said. “Where?”

  “Home.” Saffron said, the words muffled with her next mouthful.

  Halla set down her pastry. “Home?”

  “Well, not really home, but to Temecula. I’m going to see my sister.” Saffron’s fingers dug into her pastry as she clutched it a little too tightly.

  “You have a sister?” Elsie asked as Halla just stared.

  “Yes, her name’s Kendall.” The wo
rds were difficult to get out. “She was ten, I think, when my mother kicked me out.”

  Elsie’s brown eyes grew wider. “But you were only sixteen. What happened?”

  Saffron dropped her pastry and wiped her fingers with a napkin. It would be so easy to say nothing, to decide to stay here and not face the past. But the memory of Vaughn’s eyes as he asked her if he was wrong about them forced her to be truthful.

  “I fell in love and got pregnant. I think I still love him, and that’s why I’m broken inside. So I’ve decided to go find him.”

  Halla shoved another pastry her way. “Eat that and then tell us everything.”

  The first time Saffron met Tyson Dekker had been in kindergarten when she accidentally butted in line without realizing it. One of the kids complained, but Tyson just rolled his eyes and said, “Who cares? What’s it matter? Just ignore her.”

  At first she’d been offended, until a few days later it happened again, and she realized it was his way of telling the other kids it wasn’t important who lined up when and to forget it. A week later, she was late to get in line again, and he said, “You can get in front of me.”

  From that moment, she was in love.

  As far as crushes went, it wasn’t epic. From kindergarten through third grade, she’d occasionally share her treats with him, and he’d stick up for her if anyone teased. They were in different classes in fourth and fifth grades, and they attended separate middle schools, but in the ninth grade they ran into each other again. His carefully combed dark hair had become artfully messy, and they were no longer the same height. He took one look at her and left his group of friends.

  “Hey, want to butt in line?” he’d asked. His eyes seemed to drink her in.

  “Absolutely.”

  And just like that, they fell in love. They met at school events, held hands in the hallways, and kissed in the bleachers at football games. The only thing they didn’t do was go to each other’s houses because Saffron’s mother didn’t approve of her dating so young, and especially dating a boy whose family didn’t have their economic advantages. Tyson’s family was equally unwelcoming. He came from a military family—or had been before his dad was injured in a mine explosion—and they had plans for their only son that didn’t include a woman until much later in his life.

  Maybe because they were welcome at neither house they’d clung to each other that much more tightly. By sixteen at the beginning of their junior year, they were planning to marry. Three months before the end of their junior year, she found out she was pregnant.

  Her world exploded.

  “So you never got to tell him about the baby?” Elsie asked. Tears wet her cheeks, though Saffron herself was dry-eyed after her story, as if the numbness had returned right when she needed it.

  “Not after I took the test,” Saffron said, “but he was with me when I bought it. He knew my period was late.”

  “He doesn’t seem to be on social media,” Halla said, looking at her phone. “Unless this guy is him?” She turned it around to show the Facebook image of a man who looked at least ten years older than Saffron.

  Saffron shook her head. “No. But that doesn’t surprise me. He was more the type to call up friends instead of interacting online.” Saffron used social media herself mostly to interact with her jewelry group where she posted her latest creations for her regular customers. “I know where he lived in Temecula,” she said. “I’ll just start there.”

  “Ooh, it’s so romantic,” Elsie said with a little sigh. “You going to look for him, I mean. I bet you’ll fall head over heels in love again.”

  Halla scowled. “But he didn’t come after you, right? So maybe he’s a jerk. And what are you going to tell him about the baby?”

  Saffron stuffed another bite of pastry into her mouth to avoid answering. She’d told them the truth about Tyson Junior, but she didn’t want to think about what to tell his father.

  Elsie shot Halla an evil stare across the countertop. “This is a good thing. No matter what happens.” She put an arm around Saffron. “Don’t listen to her. Love like that doesn’t die.”

  Which was exactly why Saffron had to look for him.

  “I don’t suppose he has the same number after all these years,” Halla said.

  “No. I called it back then and it had been disconnected.” Saffron didn’t have the same number either, but that was only because her mother had confiscated it when she’d found her heaving into the bathroom toilet.

  “Something must have happened to him,” Elsie mused.

  Saffron’s mind had played all too often with that scenario. She’d left him the message to call her at the payphone before his phone was disconnected, but maybe he’d become deathly ill and hadn’t been able to return her call. Maybe he’d lost the phone and had to get a new one so he never got the message at all. But her more practical side said her mother was somehow involved in turning him against her. What had Veronica Brenwood been able to say to make him stop loving her? It wasn’t pleasant to think about.

  “Saffron, the door!” Halla’s aggrieved tone told her it wasn’t the first time she’d said the words.

  “I’ll get it.” Elsie slipped off her chair.

  “You expecting someone?” Halla asked.

  “No.” If it had been any other Saturday when she didn’t work at the sports store, she’d have expected Vaughn. Today would have been a lazy movie-streaming kind of day together if they hadn’t broken up.

  “If it’s a salesman,” Halla called after Elsie, who was almost to the door, “tell him to get lost. The same if it’s one of Saffron’s many admirers. Men aren’t allowed at pity parties, not when they’re the reason they exist in the first place.”

  Elsie snorted a laugh. “Will do.”

  What would she and Vaughn have watched? Saffron wondered, her thoughts still on the day she might have had. Of course now she’d have to start avoiding him. Her job at the sports store was going to be awful, but maybe she could make sure to work on weekdays, when he was teaching classes and wouldn’t run into her.

  “Are you okay?” With a concerned face, Halla pushed another pastry across the counter.

  Saffron looked down at her full plate. “I was just thinking I need to take off work at the store if I’m going to California. I hope I can get someone to work for me. It’s late notice.”

  “You will, or you’ll quit.” Halla looked determined. “It’s not that great of a job. They don’t pay well, and this is your life we’re talking about.”

  “I would hate leaving them short-handed.”

  The idea of quitting, however, was appealing. No chance of running into Vaughn. After her obligations there were through, quitting would also give her time to expand her business. If she started working at a boutique instead, she might have more sales in the long run. She’d find plenty of ways to meet new guys besides the sports store. Or better yet, she’d give up men altogether. She stuffed a bit of raspberry cheese pocket into her mouth.

  “I can’t believe you have a sister,” Halla murmured. “How do you feel about that? I mean, I totally understand why you haven’t been in contact, but now that she’s an adult, it’s the right thing to do.”

  “I’m not sure how I feel about her yet, but I hope she’s okay.”

  Halla made a face. “It was probably better for your sister than for you. She was all they had left. They might have even looked for you.”

  “I doubt that.” Saffron hoped life hadn’t been unbearable for her sister, that her mother had loosened up instead of cracking down, but Saffron was terrified that her leaving had made things worse. “The funny thing is that, yes, I know I wasn’t the perfect kid, but I never did drugs, I didn’t get drunk, and my grades were good. My room was even clean.”

  Halla folded her arms and studied her. “You are a bit of a neat freak, even with your jewelry parts.”

  “Probably thanks to my mother. But she didn’t care about all the good things I was doing. She only cared about me going
to the college she wanted and impressing her friends. At least that’s the way it seemed to me. I mean, who points to the door and sends their pregnant sixteen-year-old out into the world alone?” Her voice hitched on the last words.

  “No one,” Halla agreed. “You know what? I should have brought more pastries. We don’t need a pity party, we need a pity week. You’ve been through a lot.”

  Saffron managed a smile at that, though there was more she hadn’t told them. Talking about losing Tyson and her baby had been tough enough.

  “What is taking Elsie so long?” Saffron glanced over to the door, where Elsie was talking to someone they couldn’t see.

  “More for us.”

  Saffron took another huge bite. “This was a good idea,” she said, a bit of pastry falling to the countertop. “Oops.”

  Halla laughed and stuffed the rest of her pastry into her mouth. “New pity party rules,” she said, her voice garbled. “You can only talk if your mouth is full.”

  “I like that idea,” Saffron said. Only it came out more like “Oi wike dat idee.” They both laughed.

  “Uh Saffron?” Elsie called from the door. “Someone’s here to see you.”

  Saffron crammed in more pastry. “Well, invite ’em in. We’ve got plenty, and what’s a party without more people?”

  “Huh?” Elsie said. “I can’t understand you. Your mouth is full.”

  Saffron was about to explain when someone pushed past Elsie and came into the apartment. “She said for me to come in.”

  Saffron’s smile vanished. It was Vaughn, looking as great as ever with his blond hair a bit tousled. His eyes riveted on Saffron. Hope flared through her, but anger followed just as quickly. He’d dumped her, and showing up here now took a lot of nerve.

  Besides, she didn’t want him anymore. She was going to find Tyson, the father of her baby, the love of her life, and whatever came of that had nothing to do with Vaughn. If he was here to ask for forgiveness, he was too late. It was over between them as she’d always known it would be.